Roland Gent, Journalist, Comedian, Presenter and Music nut: Is the Zombie Apocalypse going to be this boring?

Roland Gent, Journalist, Comedian, Presenter and Music nut: Is the Zombie Apocalypse going to be this boring?: No football.... Football fans by nature re creatures of habit, doesn’t matter who you support you usually have a matchday routine. Fo...

Is the Zombie Apocalypse going to be this boring?

No football....

Football fans by nature are creatures of habit, doesn’t matter who you support you usually have a matchday routine. For most home games, I usually drive through the Peak District whilst swearing profusely at whichever driver is causing the log jam of traffic in front of me. Get to the ground, have a pie; and a well known locally brewed beer, then sit there biting my nails for 90 minutes. Go home, write my column, pop out to the local for a couple of drinks and then watch Match of the Day.

Seeing as the World just turned upside down, I could actually enjoy a drive through the Peak District with absolutely no traffic in front of me, then just not go to the match, not go to the pub and watch nothing on TV. People often ask me why do I go to football on a Saturday, I usually say, “What are you going to do? Spend Saturday doing DIY?” sadly this grim reality is now staring many of us in the face.

We have been discusing the forthcoming zombie apocalypse but it just seems that in a typically British way, we are all tut tutting at bog paper hoarders, is it really this dull? Maybe we could raise a lynch mob for anyone known to hoard loo roll, go round with flaming torches and chant obscenities every time the bathroom light goes on.

I was hoping me and my family could pass the hours with a nice conversation, but once that's been exhusted by 8am we could be in trouble

How will bookmakers cope? They make millions each week from silly punters like me, who nearly win an accumulator every week, if only it wasn’t for minor details like the results. Bookies need to find a new sport to get people to gamble on, how about betting on all the things you were supposed to do round the house without actually getting round to them?

We could have live online link ups to International “Blokes working out how to bleed a radiator” Pro/Am “Finally getting round to creosoting the fence” or The British Open “Taking all that stuff down to the tip that your other half has been telling you to do for months” I’m pretty good at tip runs so I think that’s the one for me, I even know which skip to chuck the general household items into. But why is it every time I get back there’s always one bag of rubbish that I should have taken to the tip that I forgot to take, do these things multiply of their own accord? I might lose points in that aspect of the competition.

On a serious not however Barnet have put all their non-playing staff on notice of redundancy in order to save the club, worrying times for every team in this non league division

Chorley away, is there a joiner in the ground?

Chorley away, is there a joiner in the ground?

From a fan’s perspective our day out on the train to Chorley, was one of those unique experiences, which will live long in the memory but hopefully we’ll never repeat. Going past Bolton Wanderers’ ground was fairly sobering as it wasn’t too long since we were playing there. Whilst I may commend Chorley for giving the world the Chorley Cake and the quality of the pies in the ground was tremendous, some of the other facilities inside Victory Park could best be described as inadequate. 

Amazing grass bank action incorporating broken fence

The toilets looked like a breeding ground for a tropical virus.The general consensus was that a decent joiner could have a field day doing up the ground and most agreed that if they’d had better knowledge of the layout of the place, they might have been tempted to clamber over the grass banking on one side of the pitch and get in for free. 

Top allotments action.

On the bright side there’s not many grounds in the Premier League where you can have a look at someone’s allotments as you walk to the match, however those are the peculiarities of non-league football.

Out of the relegation zone for the first time since November is a good place to be after everything the club has ben through, if there’s one thing John Pemberton knows how to do it’s bringing home the bacon in a relegation six pointer.

The Blues have faced a series of mini cup finals against relegation rivals, since the former Leeds United centre back took over; Chorley, Ebbsfleet, Wrexham, Eastleigh were all beaten and a draw against Fylde, have turned the club’s fortunes around. The next home game against Maidenhead is another one of these do or die fixtures and Chesterfield must be getting used to them, whereas our opponents clearly aren’t.

Ooh nearly

Dover away next week and I’d be more than happy with a point from that one. Dagenham and Redbridge play AFC Fylde in midweek, Maidenhead play Stockport on Saturday and Wrexham are away at Barrow, so there’s certainly a big hope that points will be dropped by our rivals and it is a cliché but Chesterfield’s season is now in our own hands whereas at Christmas it looked like it wasn’t.