Get In The LUXURY Van Part 2

Part Two, Van Disaster, Pizza and Beatles

Just to recap, I answered a call and went out on a short DIY UK tour with the Japanese Punk Band “People”

New Year’s Eve was a mad one in Sheffield.

PEOPLE IN ACTION http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpMoWZYns3Q

Wednesday 1^st JAN

I am just coming to and there’s a wet feeling on my face… er yuck what’s that? A dog is licking my face and I wake up.

I’m on the kitchen floor in my sleeping bag, the band People are all sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast and laughing at me. Oh I’m round at someone’s house, Donna, with the kitsch kitchen.

Donna feeding the 5000

One of People explains that it’s very funny that I snore like a pig and get woken up by a dog.

Thanks for the breakfast Donna, more vegetarian food, we are being so well looked after on this tour I’m piling the pounds on.

Last night's gig goers come downstairs and partake in breakfast

VAN DISASTER

I get a facebook message through it’s a very apologetic one from my other half Colette. 

She’s taken the kids up to the Lake District for a couple of days, the message reads “ The first thing is the van is OK I drove across a ford and got stuck, the kids are OK and I got out thanks to the AA”

This picture appears on facebook

That’s Colette trying to vainly push a 7 ton van

The story goes that the road went across a ford, there was a depth marker at the edge of the ford, saying 2 feet deep. Colette thought she’d drive across and make a big splash. It was obviously much deeper in the middle and she got stuck. A farmer had to tow her out with his tractor.

The AA man took the spark plugs out revved the engine and loads of water spurted out. If the water had come into the air intake that would have been the end of the van.

Next time you see an Landrover, notice where the air intakes are, high up on the sides, so they can get through this sort of thing.

Colette on facebook said It's funny now it's out and running but by God it wasn't when I was arse deep in cold water trying to push the fecker out. Of all the stupid things I have done , and there are many, this is probably the worst

Who’s the best van driver in our house then?

Jesus and Irena pop into the house. What’s Jesus doing here? Oh he was at the gig last night, I gave him a lift in the van and don’t remember. He kipped in the van.

We get our act together and go down to the gig space, we load all our stuff back in the van. New Years day it’s lashing down. A quick blast down the motorway to Nottingham.

All Aboard

Stop for petrol just off the M1 usual baffled look on the face of petrol station attendant as People photograph the inside of his shop.

Irena directs us to the Navigation Pub which sits on the canal side just below Nottingham Castle. The centre piece of Nottingham Castle is now a museum and gallery. It used to be a proper castle with turrets and all that, before it was replaced with a manor house.

The local peasants burnt down the central Manor House in the Chartist riots of 1831

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nottingham_Castle

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chartism 
Yes, English people used to have to riot for the right to vote.

The Navigation pub is home to Annie’s Burger shack. But it’s New Years Day and the chef isn’t working, no burgers today, we settle for beer and crisps. Other disappointed locals sit around drinking beer. They start to chat to the Japanese lads, dogs are allowed in the pub, always a good sign, Satoshi gets his photo taken with the dogs.

We have to go, New Year’s Day and the internet is full of people commenting on the Daily Mail’s expected tide of Romanians flooding the country to claim the giro. It’s a long way from Bucharest to the Job Centre. I’m in a van with 6 Japanese guys and a Serbian girl, we’ve been met with nothing but good humour everywhere we have been.

Gig venue is at “Stuck on a Name Rehearsal Studios” in Sneinton. Its upstairs in a warehouse unit. Locals Whitefinger are the support band, we don’t expect a big crowd as there’s no public transport in Nottingham today. If I could have found part of the horde of Romanian gypsies the Mail told me about, we could have sold a few more tickets, especially as they are all claiming a thousand pounds a week, apparently.

The lads from the venue turn up and supply us with a huge vegetarian soup, we tuck in, I’m fit to burst. They then supply us with a couple of cases of lager, it would be  rude not to avail myself of their fine hospitality, I let my belt out another notch.

They do inform us later, that someone did get murdered on the street outside not long since. Make a brief note to stay in the practice space and not sleep in the van.

There’s only about 30 in but it’s a party. Many of the locals on the punk scene seem to have gone for the big beards and woolly hat look, making them resemble either Albanian Woodcutters or the Seven Dwarves. White Finger are pretty good as musically they are tight with heavy riffs and the singer does sing not just go “uuuurgh” like many hardcore vocalists.

Rocking in Nottingham

Nottingham folks like People, starting off with a wall of noise, then breaking into their poppier stuff.

After the gig, locals DJ then head off into the night to leave us with a load of beer a full rehearsal studio and a PA system and Yohei plugs his I Player in for a night of punk classics.

Kichi falls asleep first on the settee, and in time honoured tradition we take photographs of him, covered in T shirts and beer bottles.



Kichi

DIY people trust each other, they have to, or there’s no tour, I know a lot of people who would have stolen everything from here. We sleep in rehearsal rooms, my companion for the night is a drum kit.

Thursday

We wake up stay in the rehearsal space it is sunny outside at mid day we set off to Andy’s house.

Walking up to Andy’s Yohei sees a black cab parked up and says “Taxi Taxi” I get a weird sense of Déjà vu, I recall having a dream years ago about exactly this moment and waking up thinking “Don’t be stupid you’ve never taken a Japanese band on tour”….or was that a dream?

Andy runs Viral Age a little record label and distro, he was there last night. Andy has promised us more breakfast. Baked beans, veggie sausages Brown and TOMATO SAUCE! People like this very much.

Which brings me to a question. 
What is Brown Sauce? Were did it come from? Can it be made from the finest BROWN? 
Ah here’s the answer, amazing the things you never even question http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_sauce

With Andy Viral Age

And so to Liverpool, 

People want to go souvenir shopping. I floor it. The gig tonight is in a McGuires Pizza bar, Renshaw Street just off the main bit of Liverpool. Easy to find with the sat nav. We get out of the van, there’s some BMX bike lads pulling all sorts of death defying stunts on a newly built Square just off Renshaw Steet. We’ll be using all our drums and amps tonight so a big load in and out later.

But now SHOPPING

We go down Bold Street, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bold_Street,_Liverpool

We spot POP, it’s a great shop full of Retro and modern stuff, and in we go, I purchase a Paisley scarf for £6. People buy stuff for girlfriends.

Suits you Sir

 

Sure that's going to fit?

It’s got dark we buy cheap booze and being as we are here it’s time for a quick dash down to Matthew Street to see the Beatles.

Traditional team photos taken. The actual entrance to the actual Cavern Club, which no longer exists, is now next to a Lingerie shop.

Although there is a club up the street called “The Cavern” a tribute Cavern, if you will, plus the “Cavern Bar” also the “Bootleg Cavern”,“I Can’t Believe it’s not the Cavern” and "Look we just called it the Cavern to get tourists in" are other genuine fake clubs on Matthew Street where you can really not re-live the heady days of Beatlemania.

There’s a pub on Matthew Street called “The Glass Onion”, but why has no entrepreneurial type from Merseyside opened up an Italian called “Give Pizza Chance?” I mean come on, it’s so obvious.

Next to one of the many Caverns

We have photos taken next to the statue of John Rennon, sorry Lennon, I wonder whether it’s worth buying a toy pistol and posing as Mark Chapman, maybe not.

Yes, I look stupid

Load the gear in, there’s a back room, I thought the front of McGuire’s Pizza Bar looked a bit small for a gig. 

It’s a nice place though, £2 a beer. Pizza is also pretty reasonably priced and cooked properly. I noticed, as we walked along, various Walkers pubs were advertising pints for roughly the £2 mark, plus a lot of them have kept their traditional tiled frontage which I rather like.

I’m shattered, flop out on the sofa, I don’t watch the first 2 bands, one of them drops in a bit of reggae then a cover of Motorhead which I though was a nice touch. I can hear them in the front room. Main support are Skitvarld, they have some impressive Dreadlocks. They play Discharge style thrash and seem to enjoy the crowd banter as much as the music, announce they are “Very very very drunk.” I can’t help thinking if The Vikings formed a pop group they’d look and sound like this.

Liverpool

Our lads go on, to clouds of Dry Ice, bomb through the set and by the third song the audience are all dancing, they put an element of rock n roll in the punk mix and it works.

Audience Call for More

Audience and members of support band demand they do more and drag them back for versions of “Bodies” and Disorder’s “Life”

Load out takes ages, seeing as bands are all drunk. Yohei falls asleep I pick him up and get him to the door. 

Andy from Skitvarld is our host, we go under the Queensway Mersey Tunnel, at a princely sum of £1.60 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mersey_Tunnels

It’s very bendy and I take it steady. Built in the 1920s, so Andy says.

We emerge into Birkenhead Andy tells us that the centre of Birkenhead and Rock Ferry are awful dives. We go to Bromborough.

Park up go to Andy’s, there’s a thatched cottage on the main street, blimey didn’t expect that. 

Friday

Last day of the mini tour

I crashed on the landing at Andy’s, he’s bike mad but isn’t working at the moment, I like him, we talk football he’s a Liverpool fan but can’t afford to go to the games these days. People sit on the living room floor and watch King Kong on the TV.

Once they’re all sorted we go to the pub 2 doors down, it’s Wetherspoon- esque with rather cheap lunches. Lots of older types in here having their food. We negotiate the menu by pointing. “Fish Chip very famous in Japan” says Shinso. They all photograph their food, and order pints. I wonder why this lot keep falling asleep in the van, they’re all drinking, I’m sober, of course, Doh.

Irena’s been in the van as usual, we all meet up and head out on the road. One of the band has been presented a Liverpool FC poster by Andy, M53 down the Wirral, M56, M6, M62 back to Leeds.

On the M62 I suddenly come down massively tired, I but the air blower on and keep focused.

We are going to Irena’s friend’s house in Leeds where we’ll be met with more vegetarian curry. Our hosts are a bunch of punks in a shared house. I sit down in the arm chair and fall asleep. More tired than I thought. 

I make out that our host is an English teacher. He’s got an English/Japanese phrase book on the shelf…..WHY DIDN’T I GET ONE OF THESE? DOH!

I read out various words in Japanese, for all the interesting things in life records, toilet, vomit etc

We get to the Fox and Newt, Leeds its blowing a gale outside, various people wish to know if they can sit in our luxury van and drink beers, nope, I’ve not come all this way to have it trashed by idiots on the last night.

I crash in the van for a while, The Fox And Newt has won awards for Most Improved pub, Best Pub etc I can see why. An excellent range of beers, which I’m not drinking, and a great upstairs gig venue. 
http://www.yelp.co.uk/biz/fox-and-newt-brewpub-leeds

Irena seems to know everyone who comes in.

Irena

The place is packed four bands on. The first one. No...Given play almost a speeded up technical jazz/thrash which is  amazing to watch but the singer  just gives it “uuuuurgh yap yap yap” seemed like a waste of energy to me. 

J.B.B.S from Middlesbrough are more my style of hooligan punk.

JBBS

People

People

come on and they get the same reaction as always slow build and the crowd eventually going nuts, they get dragged back for an encore. Kichi the bass player goes to the toilet I fetch him back to play again. Shinso, announces the names of the band and calls the guitarist “ Fried Rice” audience almost convulse in laughter.

Everyone signs their Union Jack, loads of end of tour photos, they hand out Japanese snacks which look like Bombay mix but taste of fish.

Tour poster

 People now call me “English Daddy” it’s an affectionate joke, I think, but I got them there

Set List

Get the band back to the house where they are crashing, but we stop at an all night Sainsbury's for more booze, there’s a lot of people in the van probably too many, Jesus is here again, he’s keen I’ll give him that. There’s loads of Police cars round here, there was a Cop shot in this part of Leeds not long ago and patrols are everywhere. I don’t want to get pulled up. Could be overloaded with number of folks in the van.

I ask People what their songs are actually about “About everything being SHIT” they reply succinctly

Tomorrow Irena’s put People on the Mega Bus back to Heathrow, good luck with that one lads.

We retrace the start of the tour take the backline back to the warehouse. Load out finally.

Back to the house for final photos, shake hands and that’s it.

I’ve been in a tour bubble, seems like it could have been for months.

Been warned I could come down with post tour depression, I take the van back to Batley.

Brad’s waiting and it’s 2 am, he checks it over it’s all OK. No scratches no dents.

I say goodbye, take my one holdall, sling it in my car and drive back to Manchester. Back across the M62. get home at 3am.

Easy peasy, this life on the road, no road burn or tour depression for me I’m well’ard...

I then spend the best part of the weekend in bed or falling asleep and waking up at odd hours wondering where I am; and where the van is parked at...

Irena’s now busy organising Equal Fest, a festival in which all the acts have at least one female member, sounds good, it's on in Bradford

We exchange facebook photos, 

Yohei says "thank you Roland you are very good drunk driver"

Come on 2014, I need a new car and a new job, what now…?